


My dearest Crowley

by SnowdropPrince



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Fluff, Idiots, Idiots being in love, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, Mentions of Therapy, Other, idiots figuring it out, therapist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 03:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19433011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowdropPrince/pseuds/SnowdropPrince
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley maybe figuring their relationship out through letters, a little help from a therapist and most definitely not talking about anything in person.





	1. Letter 1 - A to C

**Author's Note:**

> So, while I have thousands of WIP, I have decided that none are right for working on right now and so this happened. My hopes are that I will have to motivation and ideas to write some more letters for this.  
> I am sorry for any Grammar or Spelling mistakes, they are all my own and if you notice any, please let me know.  
> Also, I sorry if I butchered the way Azi talks/ writes/ thinks. I did my best and that will have to do. :)  
> Have fun reading!

My dearest Crowley,

I talked to a therapist today and while I am still not quite sure how that even came about, I am glad to have gone. The man was supremely intelligent and wise beyond his young years. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he must have come straight from heaven himself.  
He made me talk about all kinds of things and let me tell him about my life here on Earth and how I find everything to be. At first, I had been worried what he would say if I told him about having been here for 6000 years but he insisted that he had heard way stranger things so far and that I should just talk about whatever I wanted. He also asked questions and noted that nearly everything I told him seemed to involve you in one way or another and so he had me tell him all about you as well.   
I contemplated not telling him about you being a demon but decided that to fully understand the situation, he just had to know everything and so I told him about how you were the Serpent in the garden of Eden and I was technically on apple tree-duty and how everything from there unfolded. I even told him about the Antichrist and how we thwarted the Apocalypse and now no one even knows about Armageddidn’t. 

In the end, he was very sure that I was in love with you.  
I don’t really know about that though. I mean, of course I love everything God created which includes you too but that is more because of my genetic make-up than because of any personal feelings I have and, after everything, I can also admit that we are friends - that you are my best friend, my only real friend who knows basically everything about me.  
I am very unsure if I feel anything like a romantic or sexual love for you though. Angels - and demons either - aren’t really sexual creatures in the first place and so the idea of anything like this is hard for me to understand and I feel similarly about romantic love, about possibly being in love with you - what does that even mean? 

Barry, that is the therapist, told me to just write all on my feelings on this down, in a letter, addressed to you. He also said that I didn’t even have to send or have any intention to send it if that idea made me uncomfortable but he said that writing this letter could maybe help me sort through my feelings. He insisted that if we could maybe figure this out for ourselves, something about ourselves in a way, that we’d be happier and that our relationship might be even better than it already is. He also said that from everything I told him, he is even more sure that you love me and that you are suffering because of this lack of acknowledgment on my side. That you might be struggling with me pushing you back one moment and “luring” you in - his words, not mine.  
So, here is my letter. (Barry was definitely right that it is much easier to write this than to say it out loud)

Crowley, I want to write it here, to make perfectly clear how I feel about you, or rather what I can make of what I feel for you.  
You are the most important person, the most important being in my life and while you should please never actually make choose, I would give up anything for you - yeas, even Crepes and my book shop and sushi, anything. You are my very best friend and while I distrusted you for quite a long time, I always knew, deep down, that I could count on you. I was always happy to see you, to have you be my constant in this ever changing world and when you - like an idiot, might I add - came to rescue me in that church in 1941 and then even saved my books, I knew for sure that you would always be there for you. I know that we’ve still had our ups and downs - and I admit that about half of either were on me - I wouldn’t wish for it to be any other way.

Yours, truly,  
Aziraphale

PS: If you were to bring some Parisienne Crepes for the next tea, I would be eternally grateful - well, maybe not eternally but for a really long time, at least until next Thursday.


	2. Letter 2 - C to A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley's answer to Aziraphale's confession, because talking about it would be way too hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guess what?  
> I have a f*ckton of things to do and so, naturally, I took some time out of my day to write another chapter of this.  
> Have it at, folks!

Dearest Aziraphale,

I didn't think I'd ever, like, I mean EVER as in Eternity, would get a letter like this from you. You have honestly taken me by surprise, and that typically doesn't happen very often.   
Here I am though, answering because why should writing a letter only work for you, Angel?  
I think that I've known that I love you since that very first time we met when you told me that you gave your sword away. I know, it is such a stupid thing to fall in love over, but you were so cute when you were all worried. And with everything going on that day, you just made being there so much sweeter with that one conversation. I knew that I had to keep you when it then rained and without even thinking much about it, you moved your wing over me to protect me from the water.  
Now, this may sound a bit far fetched to you. I don’t think you've ever really known, but with everything that has happened, I am sure that anyone reading about our relationship from an outsider's perspective could easily see my affection for you.

I did all kinds of things and “deeds” over the years that were way better than evil, and while, sure, some of my motives were purely selfish, a lot of what I have done has been heavily influenced by you and what you would think of me.   
I know that I always tell you that I didn't really fall from Heaven but just asked too many questions and hung around the wrong people - and that is true - however, I think that if I hadn't been sent to Earth and met you there, I really would have become as evil as any of the lot down there. Sometimes that scares me.

Writing all of this in a letter like this feels very strange and I don't really like it, but your Barry seems to be onto something here. It is much easier still to write all of this down than to actually see the words to you in person. When I could see your face as you judge me - I know that you wouldn't think badly of me for this, but I can't help but still feel judged.   
Honestly, I am glad that the whole Armageddidn't ist behind us, since then we have not only been much closer but we also have all of these other things we do or take care of together - other than just dining with you somewhere, which I still think should count as a buttload of dates.  
I think I would really miss you were we to go back to how it was before then; only meeting up occasionally, one of us - mostly me - talking the other into lunch, then maybe talking a little bit about the Arrangement and what currently is on both our agendas but then going separate ways again.

I have also come to love your bookshop since then. I mean, honestly, Angel, it isn't really a bookshop and more of a personal library where you occasionally and very reluctantly sell books to costumers but I can barely think of a place I feel better, nowadays.  
Okay, this is not quite true. I actually feel very comfortable wherever you are - with only a tiny number of exceptions, like Heaven, for example, which you really can't fault me for.   
I do love the bookshop though; I love the smell, I love the way it's quite dark and yet still light enough to see everything you want to, I love how you keep changing the opening times while still having them be as erratic as possible so you don't have to sell your books, that you love oh so much, I especially love that you have made a space for some of my fallen plants so they can be nurtured back to health here and can be as luscious and green as ever. 

Yours, even in Eternity,  
Crowley

PS: You will not be able to bribe me into telling you my middle name. Give up, Angel!


	3. Letter 3 - A to C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale writes again, this time with a proposition, of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to note that I am not a therapist, I did not check if that is even close to anything a therapist would recommend but it just works nicely for my FICTIONAL story and so I wrote it in here.  
> Have fun with this second update today (because I am an absolute master at procrastinating)!

My dearest Crowley,

I do have to say, that I really don't appreciate your tone in your postscript. It is also absolutely rude to deny me such a simple request and I do have to warn you that if you won't tell me yourself, then I will find out through other means and those will not be pleasant for you. You know that I have my means.

I am not quite sure what to write here now that most of what we needed to say is said but after talking about these with Barry, he insists that we do either have to talk about what happened before just now, he once again suggested maybe writing about events that happened and what we really wanted to say then, instead of the pretense we sometimes held up, or to maybe even do something different in our routine. He says that since you love me and I likely love you back, we should maybe try touching each other a little more, or treating our outings as actual dates or maybe giving each other gifts or something of this sort.   
I do find that notion a bit ridiculous. After googling tips on dates and how to recognize if you are dating, I have to say that we definitely have been dating for a while and it has always been romantic - I see that as entirely your fault, although fault might be the wrong word since I am very happy and not at all disgruntled about this.  
I have to say though, maybe telling you what I really wanted to tell you when we met up at certain points in history, especially in the ones where what I wanted to say and what I did say differed so much from each other, might be quite a good idea.

If you are interested in this, might I suggest that we pick a time and then both write our experiences of this down and exchange our notes. Does this sound good to you? Do you have a time in mind already?  
I am looking forward to read what you think.

Yours,  
Aziraphale.

PS: The Crepes were delicious, I do hope you want to maybe go to Paris to get some more together. Let me know.


End file.
